Before the Dawn
by Silent Amethyst
Summary: In a world merciless and unforgiving, night becomes your closest companion, and dreams the reality you never lived.
1. Prologue

**Summary-** When all else was lost, at least they could still have each other in their dreams.

**Rated-** T for language and future adult themes (?)

**Verse-** Anime, post- CoS

**Author's Note- **So what is this? Basically, a series of at least 49 dreams revolving around different themes. Maybe more if I decide to do 99. Why such odd numbers? Because this chapter doesn't count as a dream; it's an intro. Why am I doing this? Because of a song I heard, _Before the Dawn_ by Evanescence. I wanted to do something with it because it seemed fitting (at least under my terms) for the post-anime series.

**Disclaimer- **I cannot claim ownership or gain profit to anything or anyone used in the following story.

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**Prologue**

_Meet me after dark again and I'll hold you__  
__I am nothing more then to savor of that__  
__And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away__  
__We'll be lost before the dawn_

_If only night could hold you, where I can see you, my love__  
__Then let me never ever wake again__  
__And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away__  
__We'll be lost before the dawn_

_Somehow I know that we can't wake again from this dream  
It's not real, but it's ours_

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It was hard, but she fought through it; painstakingly. She had no choice. She couldn't wait forever. That was unreasonable and she knew it. She could only move forward with her life. That was the only direction to go. There was no going backwards, not without wrecking chaos. She had learned that long ago, and she was reminded of it every day.

That's why she considered every night to be a blessing. The moon lighting up the black sky alongside twinkling little white stars meant escape from the cruel, lonely reality that had become hers. At night she could go to sleep and dream, forget the truth and allow her mind venture into the realm she wished for but could never be hers again.

It was where she could see him again, where she could be with him again, as if nothing had ever happened and living in solitude was the least of her worries. They were an incentive not to give up and end it all; something she could have when all she ever did anymore was give to her life to her customers. They were relief.

But they were a tease, a curse as well. Every morning that damned alarm clock woke her up the truth would come rushing back at her like a tidal wave, knocking her down and leaving her reeling in her decrepit hopes under the warmth of the sheets; a warmth that her subconscious had her eluded into believing came from another source.

They left her feeling so, unbearably cold inside. It was a feeling she feared she would never be rid of again. Not without the return of her family.

And the chances of that were close to none.

Those mornings she would stare blankly at whatever was ahead of her, struggling to hold back the millionth of shed tears over her losses. The only consolation she had was the next night, and that it would only be a few more hours before it would all be real again.

Just a few hours spent giving her time and life away, and then she could be contented for a little while more.

It was a cruel cycle, but it was something.

And something was best when nobody was left to be had.

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There was no taking it back. The decision he had made was permanent. He was in this world to stay. If anyone aside from his brother asked if he regretted that, he would shake his head and say it was for the best of both worlds.

Of course, nobody asked because nobody knew. The few that were aware of the coexisting world on the other side simply didn't care about the sacrifice he had made and as such didn't bother to ask. Only once had he ever had to answer it and that was to the gypsy woman taking residence with himself and his brother.

But if people had known, had cared, his brother would be the only one to realize that he never answered that question with a yes or no. That would be because it made the issue personal, one of the heart rather than the mind, and the younger sibling was well aware that those types of things, on his older brother's behalf at least, were never made public… much to his aggravation, he knew.

And that's why his little brother would never know about the dreams he would have. One's of home, with her, where nothing was wrong and everything absolutely okay, where one damned gate had never deprived him of the chance at a happy life.

Those were his, and would only ever be his. He would not share his only reason for even the slightest bit of happiness he carried on day to day. And that wasn't only because he hated showing any sort of weakness or sensitivity to anybody. He was selfish; a selfish bastard like the Truth had told him from the very beginning and the whole reason he was stuck in this foreign world in the first place.

He couldn't have everything, he had learned that well. But whatever he was given he would hold onto with a fervor and stubbornness even the strongest man couldn't break.

His only wish was that he could make those dreams reality.

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Melodramatic much? Well, I guess it's acceptable since it's kind of an angsty situation. Hope I didn't lay that on too thick though. I don't want them to seem out of character because of it.

Hope I've got you intrigued enough to follow along with this and that I haven't just wasted five to ten minutes of your time. Can't say I'll be updating too regularly. At the moments this is kind of just a side project. When I first thought of it I wasn't planning to do a big multi-chapter thing.

Enough blabbering. I'll let you go. Please consider leaving a review. Just a word or two at least. The input is much appreciated.

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	2. Dice

**Rated- **K

**A/N- **Just as a notice, these are dreams, so I'm going to do my best to write them as if they were dreams. They aren't meant to be vivid or full of dialogue, except for maybe a few in the future, because really, since when are dreams full of realistic clarity? And also, although maybe not that important, these aren't meant to be things that they are sharing at the same time. While romantic, I doubt that really happens. If I do decide to do that sometime, however, I'll make sure its clear, just as it'll be clear as to who is having what dream in all the others. Happy reading!

**Disclaimer- **I don't own or make a profit from Fullmetal Alchemist. It'd be cool if I did, though. I could use the money.

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**Dice**

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They laughed as they ran up the porch steps and inside the house. Well, he wasn't; he was falling behind and it wasn't funny. It was the least she could do to wait for him! But no, apparently she had decided not.

He finally entered through the front door and found her on the floor with a red plastic cup, five small white cubes and two pencils and paper. He moved to sit on his knees in front of her, and she held up the cup to him. A small, eager smile curled her lips and made her innocent blue eyes sparkle. He took it, and scooped up the dice into it. With a hand cupped over the top of the cup, the dice were silently shaken.

Four ones resulted.

He repeated the process twice more with the remaining die, neither time getting the last one he needed. Frustrated, he handed the cup back over to her and she shook it.

Five sixes rolled out.

She laughed excitedly, clapping her hands. He wanted to scowl, but couldn't. She was happy. How could he not be happy about that?

Suddenly she disappeared out of the room. He got up and followed, eventually finding her in the kitchen. She was sitting at the breakfast table, moving something too small for him to see. As he got closer, he realized it was a piece to a board game. When he sat down on a chair she grabbed two blue dice with white dots into her hands and rolled them out. She moved her piece over a few spaces and slid the dice over to him.

Without a second thought, he picked them up and rolled, moving the piece until it was just behind hers.

They went back a forth taking turns, until finally she won. She cheered happily again.

And he couldn't bring himself to be mad. In fact, he smiled.

_As long as she's happy, that's all that matters._

She ran off again, this time upstairs. Presumably, he followed.

This time she was in her room, on her bed. Another board was set up with round colored pieces atop and a single die in the middle. On either side were two boxes of cards.

He crawled onto the bed with her and she placed the die in his hand. He rolled and moved his piece. She picked out a card and asked an indiscernible question. Apparently he had gotten it right, and went again. She asked another question.

Not wanting to upset her by getting it right and thus keeping her from her turn, he gave the wrong answer. She eagerly took her turn. He asked a question that she got wrong, and it was his turn again.

Back and forth, over and over it went.

Suddenly he found his red piece filled with a bunch of smaller pieces. He looked over to her blue one which was only half filled. He had won the game…

And out of the blue, two delicate arms wrapped around his body, squeezing tight. She was smiling, and this baffled him. She hadn't won. Why was she happy?

The barest whisper of a voice reached his ears, but the words as clear as if shouted from the heavens.

"It's okay for you to be happy too."

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So, if you didn't notice, the first game was supposed to be Yahtzee and the last one Trivial Pursuit. I'm not sure about the second honestly, although I had in mind Monopoly and they were just racing around the board. I don't know, doesn't matter I guess. It can be whatever you wanted it to be.

I really like how this turned out in the end. I wasn't intending to tie in the bit about happiness into the dream, it just kind of happened and it fit. *shrugs*

Hope to hear from you; any comments or questions or whatever that you might have… you know where to click.

_**Next Dream: **__Doubt_


	3. Doubt

**Night Two- Doubt**

There was pressure. She could feel it weighing her down.

There was anxiety. She could feel her hands shake.

There was doubt. She could feel the insecurities playing games with her head.

She could feel all these things yet there was nothing she could do to stop or quell them. Behind that innocent door, the one that seemed so intimidating and frightening, was a test that she could only pass or fail. If she passed, all would be well and her worries unfounded. She would be assured that she had done her homework proficiently and that this was something she could do. If she failed...

She would be a failure. She would be a reject to her own self, someone unforgivable, because this was more than proving she was capable and trustworthy of helping others to stand back up again. This was so that those people could have a chance at having their lives back again, not without pain because that was a given regardless, but to make that pain a bit more bearable.

She was going to fail. She could feel it, the self confidence rapidly draining out of her.

She wished she didn't have to carry this burden alone.

Frustration and fear welled up and slipped down the sides of her cheeks. She gasped, trying to regain her bearings, but it was useless.

She was useless.

From behind, a hand patted her head affectionately and an arm pulled her back and held her close. The hand in her hair slid down to her shaking hand and held it still. It was such a simple and gentle touch, yet so assuring. And warm; so comfortingly warm.

She wished to stay here forever.

A warm chill down the side of her neck only intensified that desire.

_You're not useless. You're not a failure._

_Then what am I?_

_...You're a savior._

A feather of a finger wiped the wetness from her face and his arms slipped away like a whisper, smooth and cool. But the soothing warmth remained, coursing through her veins in a rapid, thrilling rush.

He had faith in her. And because of the genuine sincerity of his assurances, she knew that he always had.

That alone was enough to lift her spirits.

She breathed in deeply, shoulders broadening as she stared down the plain white door. She brought up her hands. They weren't shaking anymore. She smiled.

She was meant to save people. Her hands saved people. That's all they could do.

She _could _do this.

Stealing one swift glance behind her before pressing forward to an unknown beyond, one look into that supportive smile and those encouraging golden eyes, she knew she never had been truly alone.

…And that she never would be.

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I have no excuse. Absolutely none for how long it took to complete this. I'm just lazy and have had almost no motivation at all this winter break. I'm actually kinda disappointed; I thought this break would be more productive. Oh well, I have another week so maybe I can make something of that…?

Anyway, enough rambling. I'll let you go and do whatever.

Questions? Comments? Just run them by me.

Upcoming:

_Night Three- Pose_


	4. Stay

I lied. This one isn't for 'Pose'. I'm having a hard time coming up with something _good _for it. So here's this instead. I thought of it while I was walking home the other day.

I own nothing, incase you didn't know that.

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**Stay**

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The train kept going faster, and she kept growing smaller.

He looked on worriedly. She was getting too far away, falling behind. He clenched the metal rail and reached out as far as he dared without falling off.

It was becoming difficult to see her. The sun glared too brightly off the ground, turning everything into an almost blurry white. But he could still see her eyes, crystal blue and filled with worry; and her hand, reaching as far out as her body would allow. He thought briefly he was looking at a mirror of himself.

He couldn't leave her behind! He didn't _want _to.

"Come on!" he urged silently through gritted teeth, his stomach melding painfully around the metal rail as he reached out further.

Their fingertips flailed together teasingly, clasping briefly before slipping apart again.

She cried out, "wait!" It was an echo to his ears. Tears shone in her eyes at the desperate plea. She fell farther away and slowly dropped to her knees, holding out her arm to him helplessly. "Wait..."

_I can't!_ The end of the platform was breached to be surrounded by blurry white and tan nothingness, and his jaw clenched painfully as he tried to ignore the sting burning around his eyes. _No!_

It was too late. There was no going back, no coming back.

"Wait!"

"_Wait!"_

"Wait…" the cry escaped throatily once more, thick with frustration and hurt, failure and sorrow.

A hand, soft and gentle, folded around his and lifted him up.

He looked up and saw her smiling down at him, blue eyes bright with unconcealed affection.

_I will __**always**__ wait for you._

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Did the transition throw you off? If I hadn't written it I know I would have been, that's why I ask. Hopefully though, you get the deeper meaning. If not, well…now you have something to think about! After all, who would _I _be to ruin the dream mystique for you?

I have this feeling that just sounded really weird.

Anyway, basically I don't want to tell you what to think, so I'm leaving it open for your interpretation.

'Til next time…

~Silenthyst~


	5. Melody

It's been a while since I updated this one. Maybe I should be more regular with it so it'll get more attention? Eh, who knows, that's out of my control anyway. Whoever reads it will read it, whoever doesn't—*shrugs* Sorry for the bitter nonchalance, I'm sleepy.

No, I don't own anything.

Sweet dreams! *laughs at own lame joke*

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**Melody**

The smooth, gentle chords of the piano forte resonated melodiously. They lulled him, consumed his senses until the only thought remaining was to follow it throughout the darkened halls.

He knew that sound…heard it before.

Beyond ornate, white French doors he found a ballroom. A grand ballroom that was golden and refurbished to its prime. The chandeliers glowed ethereally and the marble below painted a marvelous, polished reflection. Columns stood tall and evenly spaced, broad and proud, supporting the balcony level above.

None of that captured his attention.

Slowly, almost with hesitancy, he came up behind one of the columns, leaning against it on his palms as though he needed a support. Without trying to keep inconspicuous, he spied on the girl in the frilly white dress waltz about the center of the room, alone and without a care in the world.

The sonorous melody was suddenly distant to his ears.

Her arms were spread wide around her, like an eagle spreading its wings, open and inviting. Her eyes were closed wistfully as she swirled in small circles, her soft smile pleasant. Like the skirt of her dress flying freely around her, long locks of yellow hair floated in thin air, swishing and settling with ease. The light from above reflected off her fair skin angelically.

She was a vision that he'd never truly appreciated before now.

Blue eyes were suddenly shining back at him as she twirled to a stop. He didn't mind being caught, although he wished it wouldn't impede her dance. But she appeared to have a different mindset as she silently used her arms to beckon him to her.

He didn't want to; it would stain the innocence. She didn't need him to take that from her. So he didn't move and shook his head.

Her smile disappeared.

Somehow, that seemed even worse an outcome.

He almost reconsidered, but shook his head. It was better this way…better if he just kept his distance.

She didn't seem to agree and strode up to him assertively, taking his right hand before he could get away. She guided him out to the enlightened floor, wasting no time to place his left around her waist and hold his right out to the side.

He was given no choice but to dance with her.

His steps at first were awkward, but she didn't seem to mind. She'd only smile and nod. It made him feel better and gradually his steps became more confident. When they did, she nestled her head onto his shoulder, allowing him to guide them along the rest of the way.

She wanted him. She trusted him. Even though he knew he didn't deserve it.

Soon enough, he didn't mind this either.

The melody never ended. Neither did them.

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	6. Midnight Show

**A.N. - **_Sorry, if anybody was waiting for an update for this. I think I mentioned it before, but this fic has become one of those "when I'm bored I'll get to it" ones. Hopefully though, this will make up for it. Nothing with a deeper meaning, just something sweet and simple._

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**Midnight Show**

It was dark and light at the same time.

She recognized the place: the hilltop where a rotting fence lined off the old McVinnen property. The equally familiar and aged maple tree that many youthful days were spent around stood nearby, the leaves the deep shade of red that it turned every mid-autumn. She smiled, reminiscing in memories of youthful days spent climbing the old tree, playing tag and hide an' seek, watching sunsets before supper—

A bright streak soared up into the sky, exploding in a flurry of color, one after the other.

...And gazing with fascination when fireworks would light up the night sky.

She leaned back on her arms and did just that, eyes still filled with the same childish wonder as years yonder. If she didn't think about it, she may have thought that somehow she had been able to travel back to those blissful days. But that wouldn't be right anyway, because then she had never been out here by herself. That was okay though; there was no reason for it to bother her now. The bright and beautiful show was more than worth the loss of company.

Warmth crept up her back and hugged her from behind. She fell into it, trusting it instantly. There was only one person it could be, only one that knew she would be out here this late at night when she should have been asleep.

"Couldn't let you see it all alone." He told, as though she needed a reason.

On second thought, the midnight show was so much more wonderful when there was someone to share it with.

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**A.N. - **_Maybe I should add 'short' to that list of things this dream drabble is, although I'd say that's quite obvious. It's still nice though, right?_


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